Changing Behaviours

How to Make New Years Resolutions Stick




Just like Ground Hog Day, the annual opportunity to start your life anew has its best chance once again on January 1st, or maybe the 2nd. You may need a day to get over New Years Eve. Think back over the last few New Year resolutions and consider how many succeeded. Have you ever wondered why many resolutions don’t last? I bet you have friends and know heaps people that do it every year, and also fail to maintain the commitment every year.


Changing Behaviours


Changing behaviours, with their associated beliefs and expectations, is like watching a movie and being partway through deciding you don’t like the movie and need to change what it is that you are watching. It is ludicrous to think that by changing the screen we will be able to change the movie. That is what many of us do when we make New Year resolutions. We change our behaviours, beliefs and expectations through acts of personal will, which have proven to last only as long as our will can hold out.


To change the movie you have to change what is being projected in just the same way that we have to change what fuels our behaviours, beliefs and expectations for them to change. So where do our behaviours, beliefs and expectations arise from?


The Foundation of Life


What we value most sits at the foundation of how we engage life. Most of us are unfamiliar with what we value, and as discussed in previous blogs, we get a clear idea of that when we identify how and why we spend our time, our money and our talent in the way we do. As much as the how is important, the why is even more important. For example, you could have two people doing community service. On the surface they both appear to be similar (how they spend their time and talent), but the why can be poles apart. One could be doing it to avoid feeling lonely or for how it has them look in the eyes of others, yet another could be truly moved by compassion.


Knowing what you value still isn’t enough, if you don’t know why you value those things. Why you value anything arises from what you want, what you desire most. This is what we call in EAP the spiritual component of life. Spirit is what brings momentum, what animates life. When you are aware, love informs your values and therefore your behaviours, beliefs and expectations. When you are not aware, fears which arise from your familial, social and cultural programming formed through your formative years fuels your behaviours, beliefs and expectations.


Love  –  A Consciousness of Abundance


Love is held in a consciousness of abundance, fear is expressed as scarcity. In an awareness of abundance you mostly experience life with inner-stillness and wellbeing. Being held in a consciousness of scarcity there is always physical, mental and emotional stress, life is exhausting and the closest thing to inner-stillness is alcohol or anti-depressants. In the former, life is fulfilling and where you thrive, in the latter life tends to be less fulfilling and where you try to survive.


At EAP Mentor we help our clients make sustainable changes through a simple formula that sees our clients transform their desires and associated values. It is almost as if this recalibration sees our clients turn up in life in an parallel reality. One where they are healthier and happier, have clarity of purpose and are free of those behaviours, beliefs and expectations in which they have been imprisoned all their lives.


Why not make this the year where you finally choose to free yourself from the things that are holding you back. At EAP Mentor we can help you make that happen.


Warm regards Russell 


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